These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
