this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
