Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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