we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
