bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
