I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
