Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
