Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
