How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
from now on my penis is your penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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