In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
