Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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