You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
