I'm gonna have a badass scar
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
