It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
