Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
