I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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