butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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