Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
