It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
