Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
