one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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