Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
