Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
