So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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