just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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