Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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