The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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