just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
