If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
