you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
