he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
