Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
