i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
