I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
