Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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