So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
