I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize