Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
