Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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