honey bunches of taint.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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