Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
