I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
