If i come over, it means nothing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
