Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
