i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
