Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
