I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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