hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
