Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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