I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
