im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
