i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
