why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
