tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize