It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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